My Mistake (in love with her bestfriend)

What is happening to my heart? I found her, now its too late to cry cause I developed interest for her best friend, it was too soon, too close, and too lonely.

She became my best friend and I found myself falling in love with her, I lied that I was in love with her friend, but in reality she was the one I feel for, I love her but the love I have for her can't be expressed just the way I wish it could be expressed.

She told me that she was in love with someone, she told me how madly in love she was with the guy, so I pretended not to have feels for her instead I forced myself to love her best friend, I deed all that just to make sure she doesn't suspect that I am in love with her.

I went for her friend cause I know her friend was still in love with me, I guess that was the greatest mistake I have ever done in my life cause everytime we are together I only pretended that I was into her not knowing that I was madly in love with her best friend.

Months have passed, to many nights filled with the dreams of her holding me telling me how much she love me too but each time I wake up from the dream all I could see is a dark room and one heart beat, I stop to listen to what the heart is saying all I could imagine and hear is that my heart will always say "you can't have her as your lover but you still have her as a friend, she can't be yours in reality but she's your in the world you only imagine".

As a silent heart stop beating so as a lovely dream stop. She told me that she has broken up with her boyfriend, for a moment I was so happy, but she broke my heart even more when she told me that she have found some else, and that she love this new guy even more than her EX, as she type this words, so also tears run down my face.

I said in a loud voice alone in my room. Don't you know I am the right one for you? Don't you know I feel pain each time I see you but can't tell you how much I love you? Can't you see that they can't love you as much as I do?

But I later found out that I was just talking to myself cause she can't hear me, all she could see was the text I pretended to write saying "I am so happy for you oh" when the truth is I am not.

She is the perfect girl I want my so called best friend but I can't have her for the mistake I made will always stand as a distraction to the love I feel for her and that mistake is dating her best friend.

So all I could do is pretend to be fully happy with her friend while my heart is dying to feel her heart beat meets with mine.

A note from an unknown lover.
via tram Beausteven